Wednesday, September 30, 2015

31 Days of Gore is (nearly) here! Meet the Gore Meter!


Gore junkies rejoice!

For the entire month of October, I'm putting political correctness and good taste where it belongs: in the garbage can. Decent people get eleven mind-numbing months out of the year and, considering this "trunk-or-treat" nonsense creeping into America's embarrassingly cautious mainstream, I'm worried about the sanctity of the one holiday where it's okay to be a sick fuck. Cue Rush Limbaugh voice: Folks, there's a war on Halloween and it's time to push back....

So this month's film marathon, in which I feature a different horror movie everyday, is a tribute to all the great things horror films have to offer: hilariously wooden acting, red-colored Karo syrup, demons, monsters, decapitations, castrations, and tons of gratuitous nudity. Oh my.

The Gore Meter

Each film will be assigned 1-4 on the "gore meter," which, of course, is no indication of the quality of the movie itself. The rating is less affected by the amount of gore in the film than other factors. It's based more on the satisfaction, the quality, and the pacing of the gore effects. Like anything else, it's highly subjective, but for easy benchmarks, let's compare my two favorite horror films of all time: Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby would score about a 1 on the meter, while George Romero's director's cut of Dawn of the Dead would get a 4.

Rosemary's Baby

Dawn of the Dead

That just about brings you up to speed. 

It all starts at midnight, Central Time. See ya there, boils and ghouls.

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