Thursday, September 14, 2017

31 Days of Gore III is still happening!


This is probably the longest break I've taken from this blog in something like nine years, but if 31 Days of Gore doesn't happen this year it's because I'm dead. (And I'll haunt whoever reads this... I ain't got nothin' better to do in death.)

I can't tell you exactly what to expect this year, but I tend to feature at least one shot-on-VHS horror flick, a melt film, a Full Moon movie, and a Troma movie. I also plan to feature an entire trilogy or series each Friday of the month. The rest of the month I like to play by ear so I don't get bored.

The only thing I can say for sure: it's going to be the best one yet. Catch up on the last two years here.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Break Time


Seems like a fitting day to announce I'm taking a break from this blog. 

Things will be back to normal by October, if not a lot sooner. This isn't to say I won't post something here and there in the meantime, but it won't be a weekly thing for a while. 31 Days of Gore III is definitely still happening... if websites like this one still exist. (Look, I'm surprised we managed to get through SOPA and PIPA, to be perfectly honest, so I'm having a little trouble being optimistic this week.)

Here's the project I'm working on right now.

Friday, June 30, 2017

Baby Driver (2017) [Midnight Movie]


You know what Baby Driver reminds me of? A musical version of Layer Cake, which was one of the finest crime movies of the twenty-first century. No, it's not a musical, it's just musical, man. Anyone who saw Edgar Wright's previous movies know what I'm talking about. His stuff doesn't move like your run-of-the-mill genre movie. Music plays a big part, sure, but you don't always have to hear it to feel it... a point the movie makes quite literally.

The kid's name is Baby. He's the getaway driver for Kevin Spacey who plays a business savvy crook. Spacey never uses the same crew twice in a row, but ever since he met Baby he uses him on each and every heist he organizes. Speaking of heists: you never really see them. The movie's not about the heists. It's all about the driver and the orbital role he plays in Spacey's underworld.

Baby wants out because he never really wanted in. It turns out he owes Spacey a lot of money due to an unfortunate coincidence. The details don't matter. What matters is Baby's in love and when things fall apart, as they inevitably do in crime movies, his ruthless associates set their sights on his girlfriend.

The first scene of Baby Driver contains more wit and creativity than most summer movies can muster in two hours. As soon as it's over, Wright treats us to a stunningly choreographed credits sequence, which tracks Baby as he goes out to order coffee. He's not quite dancing, but he's not merely walking, either. He's a character, I think, who's modeled after Han Solo and Gene Kelly. How do I explain it? Just see it.

As he's waiting for his coffee, she walks by the window. And my god, that moment... it's movie magic, plain and simple. Everything else doesn't matter. That tiny moment is what matters and the movie is so effortless at making it clear. Baby and his waitress girlfriend were destined for each other. Their scenes together are so good they hurt.

You know what irritates me? Hearing moviegoers say they're sick of seeing car chases and romance on the screen. But aren't those just about the two most cinematic things you can get at the theater? It's like saying you're sick of seeing tragedies on the stage. If these people really mean to say they're sick of seeing routine car chases and lazy romances, then I wholeheartedly agree. Baby Driver proves it's not the subject matter that's the problem, it's the bloated studios' inability to get this stuff right.

I adore crime movies. Seeing a good one can pump me up like no other genre. Unfortunately, the audience I saw this movie with had no pulse. Go see the weekend showing, with a large group of friends, at one of those theaters that serves beer. This is electric stuff, maybe even Wright's best. I walked out of the movie over two hours ago and I'm still on cloud nine.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Pieces (1982) [Trailer]


I can say with almost 100% certainty I'll be featuring Pieces for this year's 31 Days of Gore. As always, there's a countdown to the big day in the right sidebar (unavailable on mobile, unfortunately). I have a feeling this year's is going to be the best yet.

Friday, June 23, 2017

The Lobster (2016) [Midnight Movie]


In the opening scene a distressed woman parks her car on the side of a road, in the middle of a rainstorm, and shoots a cow repeatedly. I can't not like a movie that starts out like this.

The Lobster is a lite science fiction tale in so far it's set in a world in which unwed adults are forced, by law, to find mates. If they fail to take lovers, they're sent to a machine which transforms them into an animal. The good news is the losers get turned into the animal of their choice. The main character, played by Colin Farrell, wants to become a lobster should he fail his probation period as a single adult.

Why a lobster? Farrell's character doesn't have a great reason (most of the characters don't), but I wouldn't be surprised if it meant something deeper... or nothing at all. Either way, it's pretty damn funny. The Lobster is a strange movie, not in a look-how-quirky-and-offbeat-I-am! sense, but genuinely strange. It seems to find being strange as natural as breathing. Then again, maybe it's not as strange as the social norms it satirizes.


So in case you're not clear on the setup, let's go over it in detail: if you're single you get sent to a hotel in which you've got forty-five days to find a match before you're sent to the animal transformation room. The management arrange a variety of activities for the, uh, contestants, so to say, encouraging everything from phony meet-cutes to premature marriages. Each morning the men are tortured by sexual stimulation, but anybody caught relieving the tension without a partner are punished severely. The hotel manager (Olivia Colman) seems to have a contingency for any kind of dating crisis: at one point she tells a newlywed couple, "If you encounter any problems you cannot resolve yourselves, you will be assigned children. That usually helps."

The guests talk like they're auditioning for Love Connection. The management sound like those insufferably happy folks who're constantly trying to set up their single friends. I'm not sure how these actors pull it all off with a straight face, but the blooper reel is probably longer than the movie.

Another activity the hotel encourages is hunting. Rather than hunt the animals roaming the wilderness around the hotel (because they used to be humans), the guests are forced to hunt runaway single people with tranquilizer darts. The guests who bag the most are rewarded.


I'm trying to avoid spoilers here, but Rachel Weisz and Léa Seydoux are in this, only they don't come into the movie until it becomes an entirely different movie altogether. (It's the kind of movie which blows up spectacularly early on, rather than meting out its fun until the very end... thankfully, it's got enough fun to spare.) John C. Reilly is right there from the start, playing the kind of dopey character he plays so well. (Can we all just stop and marvel at how he gets in so many different types of movies, even though he often only plays a certain character?)

I've grown to like Colin Farrell in movies like In Bruges and the better than expected (but not great) Fright Night remake. You've got to have massive talent to claw your way up from the likes of 2003's Daredevil, in which his role was nothing short of embarrassing. The Lobster makes me like him even more. It's my favorite dark comedy in years, but heed this warning: things can get very dark at times.